Did April Showers Bring May Flowers?

As the month wraps up, did April showers really bring May flowers?

If you ask we St. Louisans, "Eh…" it's been quite rainy here. And if you ask me personally, the answer is convoluted, hypothetical, and likely too abstract. But I am going to share it with you, anyway... ;)

To refresh you on my "The Golden Year" post, chronic pain is no stranger of mine. It rudely entered my life in February of 2021 and has been a persistent looming cloud since.

Over the past year and some change, my sense of hope has ebbed and flowed immensely after turning to lab and imaging tests, PT, chiropractic care, acupuncture, whathaveyou without relief. While I try my best to power through this storm, I'm only human and eventually that mental toughness I've slowly tried to callous will break open.

But what I have really come to realize, particularly with the help of my mom (you HAVE to check out her Momdays if you haven't already), is that I need to stop solely focusing on finding the cause of this discomfort - God only knows when that will happen. (And to quote Laura Clery's "idiotic" book that I 11/10 recommend, "Stay in the action and out of the results.")

So instead of fixating on the results, I'm trying to live in these moments. To ride the waves when I feel my best, allow myself to feel my emotions on the days that are the worst, and live in the now - that's all we have that's promised.

I'm not sharing this for any form of sympathy but rather to encourage you to weather your storm. To explore what nurtures your mental health when your physical body just doesn't want to work with you how you so very badly want it to.

For me, I've started reading more. Meditating. Doing yoga/Pilates with my mom. All things I never thought I'd be into. I've also leaned into my support system more than I ever have - and I couldn't be more thankful for everyone in it. (Also please reach out if you need some support of your own - I'm a single message away even if it means a comical picture of my feathered friend, Pax!)

Just as in the picture, I truly know my mom and entire support system will always hold the umbrella over my head and save me from a rainy day. But I also know they'll encourage me to dance in the rain and live in the now - rather than chasing rainbows that don't always come.

The thing is, life is like the weather - it's so very unpredictable. Life is full of seasons filled with sun and rain - and I'm trying to learn how to embrace all of them and challenge you to do the same. To live each moment to your fullest no matter the season of life.